We humans embody unique characteristics which shape our personality. Anybody with a moderately keen power of observation will agree that there are different types of personalities that people exhibit in a run-of-the-mill everyday setup. Let me give you an insight on these peculiar temperaments and how to handle them.

A school of thought says that human personality can be divided into six different types. Each type has its unique characteristics and each type has a preferred communication style. If we are able to identify the type it becomes easier for us to connect with them.

I got introduced to this brilliant concept around 14 years back during a training program .I don’t quiet remember the source of this concept, but thereon I have spared no opportunity to implement it. Here’s the dope

This category subsumes people who are usually at senior positions or people who have achieved success early in their lives. On the basis of their age or rank they trot out certain basic tendencies which are listed below.

How to connect?

Please comprehend that in order to connect with them we need to speak in their preferred style of communication. We must never, I repeat NEVER try to match their style.

  • Seek their opinions.
  • Don’t give them ideas; instead take their feedback on your ideas.
  • Do not emulate their sitting posture.
  • Show eagerness and zeal.
  • Engage them in wordplay by asking questions.

“You never know the might give you some genuine pearls of wisdom”


Valuators are people who are super achievers in the past and for varied reasons have either hit the brakes or let down flaps. Many bosses, fathers, young achievers and retired individuals fall in this category. And they are not easy to deal with!



How to connect?

  • Be nice to them.
  • They appreciate a candid attitude about your expectations from them.
  • Help them to say “no” if you feel that they cannot aid your efforts.
  • Match their style and spirit.

Relators are nice people and go out-of-the-way to do things for others. They avoid confrontations and try to secure a win-win position all the times. Every so often, they find the world ungrateful.



How to connect?

  • Be to the point and detailed with your deliberation.
  • Makes sure that you cover all bases and are well prepped.
  • Be on top of your subject matter.
  • Be very honest about the knowledge you bring to the table. Do not try to bluff.


Systemizers may have all the earmarks of a shrewd and insensitive person, but they could be the easiest people to deal with. They call a spade a spade and should you try to take them for granted, they have the capability of becoming your worst nightmare!




How to connect?

  • Match their energies and style
  • Don’t be too serious with them
  • Engage and show participative interest in their activities.
  • Help them focus by bringing them on track from time to time without being too pushy.

Working with a stimulator is like making a child do homework or eat food. You have to cook up stories, participate and still ensure that the homework is completed and food is eaten.



How to connect?

  • Match their style and body language
  • Speak softly and keep your conversation limited.
  • Encourage a conversation by asking questions that they would be happy to answer, for example questions related to their work.
  • Give them their space.

We all go into a visualizer mode from time to time. Times when we have just dropped our child to a boarding school or visiting someone in a hospital etc.



How to connect?

  • Match their vibe
  • Talk to them about ideas. Avoid being grouchy.
  • Stay in touch constantly or you will lose them. For them out of sight is out of mind.

Activators make things happen. Once an activator ceases to act or think in their peculiar fashion, they gradually start morphing into valuators.


Six governing personalities dwell within us. However we exhibit only one or two of these traits at any given time or place. This explains why we get along well with some people as compared to the rest. For instance valuators are self-willed and hence two people with a valuator personality just can’t get along. When married to an obstinate valuator wife, the husband needs to gets into the visualizer mode or becomes a relator to make the marriage last. A bad fight between two people could be a result of their personalities operating on the valuator mode. Every activator (the big picture guy) needs a systemizer as his execution arm to materialize his ideas. We subconsciously unfold different personalities based on the situations we are in at our workplace, with our friends or family .One needs to figure out where he/she enjoys the most. At Work, with family or friends? This could be a good indicator of your natural personality type.